Saturday, August 28, 2010
Pregnant at 41
I haven't ever blogged before, and I'm actually not sure I have time for a blog. But so many thoughts keep swirling through my head and I'd love a forum in which to share them. I have read other women's blogs -- they are all so funny, positive, and sound so excited about their pregnancies! I must say that at 16 weeks, I'm still pretty darn petrified. My body is changing. I'm not officially showing yet, but I look fat, and my chest has grown a whole cup size. There's no doubt I'm pregnant, but I'm in the weird awkward stage of who I tell, who can tell anyway, how I respond when I notice people looking at my belly and then not saying anything to me. My husband is more concerned about my health and that of the baby's than about planning for the future. He's not ready to start working on names, go shopping for baby furniture, thinking about redecorating the guest room or anything like that that might help ME get more excited and make this seem more real. Everyone who has kids simply loves them, and is so excited to share information. What about me? Will I be like that? What if I'm sad? What if I yearn for my own old life?
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WELL... all I can say is that it often just doesn't feel real until it IS real... which is when the baby is in your arms and you are scared you're holding it wrong. I didn't plan much, and didn't get the baby's room ready until he was almost four and we already had another one who was a year old. I bet you will have it more together than that.
ReplyDeleteWhen people look at your belly funny, I suggest you give them a thumbs up and a wink, and then they will be REALLY confused.
Some husbands go in a different direction altogether... they act like they are about to be put into a coma that they won't come out of for 18 years, so they walk around like they are in mourning. I don't know how many husbands get psyched about baby furniture (although I bet they're out there). Somehow, bring him to a two year-old birthday party, and then see him REALLY freak out.
There are so many times EVERY parent wishes their kids would disappear for the day so they can lay on the couch or do whatever they want... the trap is feeling guilty about that. You'll be a great parent, and no one is as worried about you as you are! :)
I'm so glad to hear you say that it SHOULD feel unreal and that I'm not as weird as I think I sometimes am. This is all very strange. And to think that I am pregnant, wigs me out sometime. Not me!
ReplyDeleteFunny, too, as my tummy has changed shape, so has my husbands demeanor. Maybe he won't be the comatose dude that I thought he would be!
I'm just so grateful for the good news that keeps coming.
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