So whose life is this anyway?

I had an epiphany. The little guy/girl won't be living my childhood but theirs!  Duh. (you might say) but I swear I've been having fantasies of sharing the things I did as a little kid with THIS little kid: visions of taking them to gymnastics, or having them love classical music (or even F horn).  And while I know I can expose them to a lot of things I did (music in general, hiking, reading, museums, sports of various types, arts) this little being will have their own interests.

This may well be a good thing...or not!  Maybe this one will love hockey?  Or pottery? Or singing in an a cappella group? Or skateboarding? Or football? Or wrestling? Or ballet? Or playing in a rock band? Or dressing punk style? Or ski jumping? Or sky diving (yikes!)? or acting?  And if it's a boy, I guess I'll have to put away the dream of ever having someone to inherit my dollhouse (the pride and joy of my childhood). Sigh.  Thankfully, there are other little cousins who will be ready for it, and hopefully will love it as much as I did.

In line with this train of thought: I had two very vivid dreams last night.  One was a dream about a gymnastics competition and the other was about a diving competition (my two favorite competitive sports growing up).  I woke up kinda sad that perhaps this little one won't love those sports.

I had such a good childhood: summers in Maine, skiing in winter, backpacking in the beautiful New England mountains, competing in sports I loved, riding bikes, playing music, making good friends, going to summer camp....I only hope that this one will have a good childhood too. I just have to accept that it will be different.

OK....at 5 months (20 weeks) today!

Ultrasound at 20 weeks. Top photo: baby's feet from bottom Bottom photo: profile

I may be losing track of weeks here....but I think I'm at 20 weeks starting today.

Milestone 1: I wore my first official maternity clothes to work today. I was wearing normal pants, but had to hold them up by attaching a rubber band through the button hole and stretching it to extend around the button. Luckily these lovely maternity shirts are longish and cover the waistband of pants. I always wondered about that....now I know what pregnant women are hiding under that clothing....pants that don't close.

Milestone 2: signing up for a bunch of classes at the local hospital.  Breastfeeding, child care, and a 6-hr "express" birthing class (since none of the regular birthing class sessions fit my schedule).   And they are expensive!  I didn't expect to pay for these classes, and lo and behold there are costs associated with each. The hospital tour itself is free. I signed up for that one too.

Now on to researching....doulas, birthing plans, car seats, cribs, strollers.....any ideas anyone?

And the emotion report: feeling good. Moodiness has largely disappeared (thank goodness). Feeling happy. Tired at times, but that seems natural.

Baby is definitely kicking. Not sure if anyone else but me can feel it yet.

Updates and more good news

On Monday I had my 20 week ultrasound. The technician took about 133 pictures with multiple images of the cranium, the vertebrae, the heart, the blood flow and other measurements.  This test is by far the most comprehensive ultrasound because specific measurements were taken to assess for proper development of the heart, the spine and the brain (primarily).  Results were good, according to my doctor. All is normal!

So together with our amniocentesis results, we are feeling pretty good overall.

On that same day, I had my 4 month check up.  I have gained 5 lbs since last month....just a little more than I had wanted.  (The doctor says 0.5 lb per week, so 2.5 per month or up to 1 lb per week (4 lbs per month).  So I'm a little worried that I'm over my weight allocation. I just started doing water aerobics 2x  a week, and yoga once a week so maybe  I can keep my weight in check - without going crazy. Obviously the weight gain is inevitable!

Amniocentesis results

So today I got a call from the center where the amniocentesis was performed, and got good news that the karyotype was normal. There are 46 chromosomes. Perfect. And those chromosomes all have normal shapes and sizes. Perfect.  And the blood test that tested for a fetal protein that correlates with spina bifida was also at a level to indicate NO spina bifida.  So, we so far have a healthy pregnancy!

I know you're asking: but what about the gender?  We're traditionalists. We have opted not to know. It will be a surprise for everyone!

I do feel that a weight has been lifted. We know about as much as is medically possible to know about the health of this baby. The rest we must take on faith. I need to continue to take care of myself, be happy, and trust that the rest of development will proceed well.

So now, knowing what I know, would I do the amniocentesis again? Probably yes. It is very nice to have confirmation of a healthy baby. I feel endlessly better knowing that I don't have to worry about chromosomal disorders.  Now I just have to refuse to worry about the stuff I can't test for anyway!

Restless legs lead to restless nights

Generally, I go to bed between 10:30 and 11 pm. And generally, I fall RIGHT asleep and don't wake again until morning. No bathroom stops. Nice deep sleep.

No more!

I am having trouble sleeping comfortably in the beginning of the night.  I initially fall asleep pretty fast, but by 1 am, I wake up again, uncomfortable, needing to pee, and wanting to jiggle and move.  So, I get up, take care of business, and get myself a glass of water before lying down again. Two hours later, I wake up again, usually after what feels like an eternity of tossing and turning.  I then repeat my earlier routine.  By between 2 and 4 am, I generally feel better, more hydrated, and more comfortable. After that, I sleep well.

I wonder why this happens? Is it common? Can I do something to make these discomforts less? Maybe I should try drinking more fluids before bed. Hmmm.